Here are some newspaper headlines (circa 2000) for stories we really wanted to read:

• Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
• Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
• Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
• Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
• Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
• Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
• Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
• British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
• Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
• Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
• Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
• Miners Refuse to Work after Death
• Juvenile to Try Shooting Defendant
• Stolen Painting Found by Tree
• Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
• War Dims Hope for Peace
• If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
• Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
• Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
• New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
• Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
• Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
• Typhoon Rips Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
• Viagra Thief Gets Stiff Sentence