Thanks to Steve Infanti, former PR pro at Penn State University, for shipping us “top 10 things your president thinks were said the last time you spoke with a reporter.”

1. I don’t need to interview anyone else. When you say that’s the way it is, I believe you.
2. Can I take you to lunch? I just got a big raise thanks to the in-depth article I was able to write based on your 10-page news release.
3. I hope you’re coming to the interview. I always like to have a PR flack sit in to deflect tough questions when I interview the CEO.
4. Please put me on your mailing list. I don’t want to miss any of your school’s personnel announcements.
5. That’s the best story I ever heard. No wonder you make more money than I do.
6. No, I don’t need to speak to the CEO. Any old marketing flunky would be fine.
7. Take your time getting back to me. I don’t need to turn this story in for several weeks. I just thought I’d get a head start gathering information.
8. I don’t really want to write about your school, but feel free to go over my head to my editor.
9. I’d much rather work through a qualified PR professional like yourself than contact faculty at random trying to find out details on the latest campus scandal and cover-up.
10. Have you spoken to editors at other publications about this story? I think you should because this is news that deserves the broadest possible circulation.