• Why God Never Got Tenure

    by  • December 2, 2011 • On Culture

    Here’s why God never received tenure at any university, thanks to Bob Guthrie, who was the PR guy at Creighton University when he mounted this on the Internet.

    1. He had only one major publication.
    2. It was in Hebrew
    3. It had no references.
    4. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal.
    5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
    6. It may be true he created the world, but what has he done since then?
    7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
    8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
    9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
    10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
    11. When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
    12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
    13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
    14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
    15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most students failed his tests.
    16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.